Queen of Angels, Queen of May

 By Paul Ashton, Psy.D., D.Min.
Consultant to the VIRTUS^® Programs

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and laughs at the days to come. She opens her mouth in wisdom; kindly instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.

—Proverbs 31: 25-27

The beautiful month of May is traditionally devoted to our Blessed Mother Mary and it is appropriate that we honor our mothers on Mother's Day during this month. Back in the day, the Sisters in school would make sure we practiced songs, wrote beautiful poems and made cards for our mothers. There would always be a May procession that day that would include the entire school with all of the First Communicants wearing white. A May Queen and her attendants would process for a spectacular crowing of Mary that the Sisters choreographed to rival any major theatrical production. The church was filled with lilacs and their fragrance permeated the church, already laced with incense and bee's wax. The Ave Maria, On This Day Oh Beautiful Mother, and Bring Flowers of the Fairest were sung in multiple harmonies. 

I remember that my mother, grandmother and aunts would wear orchid corsages, and at church they would hand out carnations to all of the women—white if your mother was deceased and pink or red if she were alive. The family would gather for a large dinner or we would go out to a local restaurant. Gifts would be given, stories told and laughter would be the focus of the day. Our mothers would be honored in every little way possible and everyone would try to be on their best behavior. A poignant memory also stands out from childhood. After the crowning of the statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary, we would all pray the Consecration to Mary:

My Queen and my Mother, I give myself entirely to you; and to show my devotion to you, I consecrate to you this day my eyes, my ears, my mouth, my heart, my whole being without reserve. Wherefore, good Mother, as I am your own, keep me, guard me, as your property and possession. Amen. 

It is a beautiful prayer that I remember to this day. Its fuller meaning more and more significant when the temptations of the world are vivid in my life to see, say and hear things that push me further from God and not closer.  

I was very blessed to have my mother and grandmother in my life for 32 years. To some this is a good long time; for me it was all too short. I can't imagine how it would be not to have the wonderful memories of those Mother's Days of my childhood, when the greatness of the women of my life were blurred all together with the Mother of God. For those Mother's Days, we honored the greatest Mother of all and it appeared that she gladly shared the honors with the mothers in our own lives—all, of course, for the greater glory of God. Last, but not least, to mention the good Sisters who lead all of us to Jesus through Mary. These unsung heroes certainly deserved more that we gave them, yet they never complained. 

My mother was a hero to me, and in those few times that I thought she failed me, I turned to God's Mother who was an ever present comfort. It always seemed to work out; I was blessed. I am aware, however, through the ministry that I have embraced these many years, of many who were not blessed to know their mother. Many have suffered because of their mother, and many feel abandoned and forgotten by her. Some lost their mother at a very young age for any number of reasons, and have searched long and hard for a loving replacement their whole lives. 

Our hearts and thoughts are with all of these individuals these days when the painful memories surface in the face of celebration and joy. Our prayer is for comfort, peace and inner strength for these children, men and women. Our thoughts go out as well to the many who wanted to be a mother but could not, and to those with great self-sacrifice who offered their children to the care of others. We pray for the children who could not understand this, and wish them gentleness of heart. Our prayers are especially with those mothers who are chained to the most difficult parts of their lives, not forgiving themselves for actions, decisions and behavior that they are shamed by.

May Mother's Day be an opportunity for all of us to be mindful of the Mother of All mothers who leads us to her Son, always with the hope of a future filled with joy and free from anxiety. She beckons all of us to the place of forgiveness for those women in our lives who were supposed to care for us, but hurt us instead. She understands our sorrows, hears our pleas and comforts our hearts with her silent but constant presence in our lives. Though we may struggle, we find joy in singing… “O Mary we crown thee with blossoms today, Queen of the Angels, Queen of the May.”

This article is not part of your continuing training. To access your required bulletins you must log in using the form in the upper left-hand corner of the screen. Then go to the TRAINING tab.