| A Shared Strength |
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| Our Suffering Unites and Transforms Us |
By Paul J. Ashton, Psy.D., D.Min.
Consultant to the VIRTUS® Programs
 As a body is one though it has many parts, and all the parts of the body, though many, are one body, so also Christ.
—1 Corinthians 12:12
Once again, we face difficult times. Wounds barely healed are opening wide, and scars almost forgotten become prominent, uncomfortable, and painful. The news of child sexual abuse from the far corners of the Church Universal causes us pain and reminds us of our own personal hurts, wounds, and unfinished business. We are saddened, hurt, and betrayed all over again. We try to move forward, but we seem to be pushed back with every onward movement.
I remember well those early days in 2002 and the many weekends I participated in training hundreds of the faithful from the Archdiocese of Boston who came forward in groups of 200 to be trained as facilitators for the Protecting God’s Children® program. I remember the cold and snow of that winter lasted well into spring, but nothing could keep the New Englanders from attending the two-day trainings we had. There was much pain, anger, and myriad other confusing feelings, yet the predominant spirit was one of unity, caring, concern, and the strong will and enthusiasm to move forward and make changes. I remember so many kind words spoken, so many tears, and so much anger and hurt, but I remember that we all moved forward. I remember the strong, prayerful intentions of the people of Boston that I encountered. They wanted to be part of the solution, and they were.
We thought we were alone in our pain, confusion, and hurt, and many others did too until stories from around the country were told, and we knew it wasn’t just us. The words of Saint Paul comforted us through those lonely and scary days (1 Corinthians 12:26), If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if one part is honored, all the parts share its joy.
There were many times during my early travels across the country to train fellow Catholics, that I wished my Boston accent were not so pronounced. I remember feeling ashamed of those feelings and felt responsible for something I could not control. Thankfully, I clearly remember the many, many good people who came forward with words of comfort and unity.
Now those scary and lonely thoughts have been uncovered again. Not knowing what to say to those who ask me what I think, afraid to write in this space—fearing the perceptions of others. I remember well, the arrows that flew by day and the darkness that covered the nights when my own colleagues in ministry did not agree with the direction I had chosen to move.
I remember listening to the stories of many victims and having it deeply touch the victim in my own heart and soul. I remember how keeping silent hurt because I didn’t have an answer. It hurt when others screamed out their psychological interpretations of sin, and I said nothing. Moreover, I remember telling the beautiful stories of the internal sufferings that I had heard from fellow victims and the transformation others experienced upon hearing them. The stories urged them to come forward and to join the Church to become the solution, a source of unity, rather than a source of more problems, blame, and the making of issues and divisions.
I find in some miraculous way, every day brings the opportunity to rejoice in hope. Every day, my good God sends me a person, brings me to a place, or allows the things that I encounter to transform my heart and to remind me that I am not alone. I am a member of the Body of Christ whose strength knows no bounds.
What a blessing it is to hear words of encouragement, questions of concern, prayers of petition, affirming praises, and total unity from the many sisters and brothers whom I have encountered on this journey. Each of us in the VIRTUS® family is blessed to see the great and wonderful things happening in so many dioceses, through so many wonderful people. May you all be blessed with the knowledge that we are not alone. If you are suffering, we are suffering. May our suffering be united with the Church as the Body of Christ throughout the world that like us, is experiencing pain, hurt, and betrayal. May God accept and bless our unity, and may He transform us and our pain to peace, our darkness to light, and our fear to strength.
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Does your family have an established emergency plan?
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Yes
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50.18%
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No
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49.82%
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Total Votes: 1909
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